Sexuality is complicated; there are many factors to consider.



  • Feeling of closeness
  • Kindness, consideration, appreciation and support
  • Takes time to build



  • Ability to control one’s decisions without interference
  • Ability to make sexual decisions without pressure or influence



  • Willing participation
  • Free from intimidation, manipulation or fear
  • Active process that involves choice



  • Knowing that your partner is being honest
  • Knowing that you can be honest with your partner
  • Feeling safe and confident that your partner will respect your decisions



  • Shared experience of commitment and intimacy
  • Inclusive decision-making process
  • Reciprocal and reciprocated



  • Being truthful about past sexual experiences and current relationship status
  • Informing partner of sexually transmitted infections
  • Being truthful about relationship intentions



  • Open exchange of information between individuals
  • Two-way street -- involves listening and responding
  • Open communication that increases connection



  • Acknowledge our own and our partner’s inherent value
  • Hold others in high esteem
  • Act in a manner that contributes to the well being of everyone


Adapted from the Power and Control Wheel, developed at the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, Minnesota.